Score: 10

"Super Great!"

submission: Canabalt

date: September 11, 2009

Though I feel like a douche for pressing the arrow buttons every game until I paid attention to the listing of controls and realized they are in fact useless.
The music is pure icing!

Score: 10

"It's Tortuously Delightful!"

submission: When Pigs Fly

date: August 3, 2009

I found that this is best to play with a small child nearby keeping up with the repetition of dying:
"What's the pig doing?"
"What's the pig doing?"
"What's the pig doing?"
"What happened to it?"
"What happened to it?"
"HAHAHA!!!"
"What's the pig doing?"
TIMES 1000+

Score: 8

"Har Har!"

submission: - The Nail -

date: February 19, 2007

I never really liked foamy, I must say ... but tons of people don't like my stuff either (me?).
Such elaborate criticism is a compliment in and of itself, though, so no one can really rip on it.
I was bothered by the hypocrisy of the female character (Ghislain?) being in a straight blowjob toon way back when, which was removed by the creator when he went legit, and now, in recent toons, she's being covered in geek jizz (which is funny in and of itself, but pick a stance, buddy!)
I just hope he made some moola with his corporate merchandise!
(I really do!)

Score: 10

"That was friggin' beautiful!!!"

submission: Baby Factory

date: January 30, 2007

If this doesn't shoot much much higher in ranking, then I can only look with bitter contempt on the taste of Newgrounds voters -- I mean REALLY, this was fucking creative and funny!!!

Score: 10

"Ya know..."

submission: June Gloom Adventures ep1

date: November 12, 2006

I always wanted to make something like this, but never had the balls!!! God bless you, sir!
Newgrounds says that I have been making reviews too fast, so I'm gonna hang out here for a second ...
Let's see ...
I can't believe you got a deal with Comedy Central, you bastard!!! How is that going? My dealings with National Lampoon have been semi-crappy at best -- they made me edit my cartoon for language, for Christ's sake, and add a beginning EXPLAINING WHAT WAS GOING ON!!! Jesus! Oh well, such is life ...
Luv,
Matzerath

Score: 10

"It's amazing..."

submission: Thirsty Plants

date: November 12, 2006

How a little joke can piss-off so many people. Also, it's pretty awesome!!!
Checking out the complaints before watching this, I figured the Jesus guy got crucified at the end, but in fact it was a much less violent, though equally funny ending.
I bet Jesus wouldn't write snooty, threatening reviews on Newgrounds, I'll tell ya that much!
Luv,
Matzerath

Score: 10

"I would just like to state..."

submission: Hans Dick in "Pen-Pal"

date: November 12, 2006

This is my favorite of the Hans Dick series. Oh yes.
Oh yes.
Luv,
Matzerath

Score: 10

"that was most highly enjoyable-esque!"

submission: Ingus: Episode 8

date: October 25, 2006

I'm just discovering this series, and it kicks ass! The animation on this episode was particularly well-done, and I love the simple mad schtick that goes on -- I'd say this was the best implementation of it thus far.
Also: This is hardly 'family-guy' style humor -- this would be more likened to adult swim, kind of a madhouse Harvey Birdman thing. I found the barrage of weird jokes to be hi-larious!!!
So, uh, yeah.
Oh, and the alien face scared me.
Sincerely,
Matzerath

Score: 10

"It's classic."

submission: Only Superhuman

date: December 2, 2004

Nice little animation there, it reminds me of classic animated shorts, such as Bruno Bozzetto, and equally as funny.
The last reviewer is another hyper-critical Newgrounds viewer, shooting down exceptional material based on his own personal criteria of what is 'good', the parameters of which are usually incredibly shallow and empty.
But I LIKED It!!!!
Luv,
Matzerath

Score: 10

"Truly, I have grown to love this guy's work!"

submission: Salad Fingers Episode 5

date: November 29, 2004

You know, it's rare that I see a flash cartoon, or particularly a flash site, that holds my interest, or blows me away, or makes me horribly jealous -- sure, people got the rotoscoping going on, or the 3-d graphics, or the fucking Nintendo gags, but a rare few seem to have a true style (I would include myself on that crap list, by the way).
Man, Firth's cartoons are great!
It's been a treat to view them (all his stuff, by the way ... I love Salad Fingers, but I hope he doesn't get trapped into making just that series). Truly, he's too good for the internet. But where else does a poor artist go these days?
I realize now ... I must do better. I must look down deeper, darker holes.
I must eat the neighbors.
Sincerely,
Matzerath